Sponge bath it is.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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