Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we made out on top of his cat.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
