I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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