just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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