The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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