Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
