Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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