Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
