You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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