I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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