Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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