Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
