don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
