420 ftw
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize