Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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