Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
