I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
