I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
