remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
