they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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