i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
