its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
