if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
