So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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