dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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