life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I want a musical about memes.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
