yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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