Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
