I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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