I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
