She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
