just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
