yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
