I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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