Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize