the day after is always just damage control
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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