You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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