Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
