What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
