I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
