there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
