Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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