i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
