I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the day after is always just damage control
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
