it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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