Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
