if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
