'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
