I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i now understand why vodka
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
