walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
