and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
