I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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