Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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