I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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