so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
