Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
