In America we eat man semen.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
